Soap is not a condiment
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
