Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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