Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
