Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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