Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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