Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
