life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I can't turn off my feet"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I have post one night stand depression
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