I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
