It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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