I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
