It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
