I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just cropdusted the office
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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