Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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