Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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