We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
