So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
