why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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