Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
