Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
