google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
