We named our party play list daddy issues
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
