Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
