It's like God shit irony all over that family
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I don't deserve a penis
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
