basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
