ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
