Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
