everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
