I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
