Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
