I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize