i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
