Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Everything about him screamed your future.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize