I wannas sexs uuuuu
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
