Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize