Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
