Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
