who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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