Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
