the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
