oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
