i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
