Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
