its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
