As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
