There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
