it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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