He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
