All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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