He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize