i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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