i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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