is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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