it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
