some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Randomize
