So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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