I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
