I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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