Buhtt sex?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
