Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
