She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
