Already got asked if we're dating
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
